it's a fish shoal

Whenever it gets quiet on this blog, it is not because nothing is happening, but because lots is happening. This spring I don't have much textile progress to report. The lengthy silences correspond to periods of investigation, internal debate, uncertainty, and intense negotiating. With the end result that last week I signed on a (solid) line, sent my form in, and:

I will be starting graduate school this September.

What! Yes, I kept it very quiet, I didn't even tell my mother I applied. It was such a long shot that if it didn't come through I wanted the whole thing to dissolve with a minimum of fuss. As it turned out, I got in (one of 4 out of 50!) and I'm sure all the deities are chuckling. I will be starting a PhD program in archaeology at that big H school in Cambridge, MA. As a child, I once thought for about three months that it would be cool to be an archaeologist, and then I forgot all about it. Archaeology never occurred to me again until I met some archaeologists, and even then I had no desire to be one of them. I have no background in archaeology, have never even taken a course in it. It just happens to be the department where the person I want to work with teaches, so I guess that makes me an archaeologist.

Many people have given me exuberant congratulations, but I confess I'm still stunned and overwhelmed. Not the most positive kind of overwhelmed, not the oh-I-just-won-a-prize kind, but the overwhelmed that comes with making major life changes. Can I afford to keep paying my mortgage? (no) Will I be able to work while I'm in school? (thank goodness, yes, that was the negotiating part) Is this really what I want to do? (still unclear) How do I really feel about never having a summer again in the forseeable future, since I'll be spending June July and August south of the Equator? (not so great) How am I going to face being in classes with people ten years younger than me? What am I going to do with a PhD in archaeology anyway??

On the positive side, I'm hoping to be able to do a lot of textile research, and keep looking at the collections in the museum where I've been working. I am enthusiastic about my topic (khipu) so I hope I'll be able to grind my way through the pottery shards and bone fragments and get to the good stuff without too much turmoil. I'll be able to stay involved with the project I've been working on for the past three years, which is great, since you never know if the grant money for a full-time salary will come through.

All this figuring and negotiating and deciding is why textile pursuits have been hushed for a while. Now that the decision is made, I hope to get my head up again and start playing with yarn.

Comments

[grumperina]

Congratulations! What an exciting, new, and scary adventure for you! The most important thing is that you already know what you'll research and who your advisor will be, everything else will fall into place :).

[June]

Carrie, no doors ever close! If it's really not what you wanted, you *can* leave. But think of the other side! You'll be a world expert in ancient Peruvian textiles, I'll go to your book signings and lectures, and I'll say I knew you when. :)

[Kerstin]

That's great, Carrie! I always wanted to be an archaeologist as a kid. I spent lots of time digging in the dirt looking for stuff. One day my neighbor (a real bully) buried an Osh Kosh B'Gosh button. Whoa, I found an ancient relic! My first and, sad to say, last discovery. And to think I could've found more if I had lived in Wisconsin instead of Michigan. :)

I'm so excited for you!

[claudia]

I have often wondered whilst reading your posts that touch on your work, why the hell you weren't the boss, and the other guy wasn't working for you. Just sayin'.

;-)

What a thought: a real weaver/textile maven as an archaeologist. Nothing but good could come from that!

[Colleen]

Carrie, congratulations!

[Emily]

I think you will probably love graduate school. And you might find that your classmates are older than you think. Congratulations!

[Dava]

Congratulations! Always exciting to hear of someone's new adventure!

[Melissa]

Congratulations!!! That is so awesome - what a ride you'll have.